I'll never forget the morning I got "down on my knees" in my heart and asked God to help me quit smoking...
it was in my twenties, I was a new mom, and with my husband away a lot travelling for work, I began smoking more than I had wanted to, more regularly just to get out of the tiny apartment I lived in in the city, and to escape a screaming baby just for a few minutes... it was my only break in the day and I looked forward to it and planned for it wholeheartedly.
The night before this particular day, I was desperate to get out for a quick smoke, despite the fact that it was pouring rain and cold out... so as usual as soon as I fed my son, I turned on a show for him on tv, and made my "escape" onto the balcony , where I stood there in my Crocs, with rain pouring over me, shivering in the cold, worrying about my cigarette getting soaked and going out, peeking inside as my beloved son was captivated and entertained by Dora the Explorer, colourful flashes of screenlight reflecting off his smiling face... and that's when a very new feeling came upon me, a feeling of guilt and shame and disconnect, I felt dirty, I felt disloyal to my son, I felt like a terrible mother...BUT:
The WORST of it was that I felt like a SLAVE, for the first time it dawned on me that I am NOT enjoying this cigarette and that I'm definitely not feeling or looking cool standing outside in the cold rain, shivering, polluting my body..that's when I realized the POWER that I had allowed my "occasional" smoking habit to have over me , and how quickly addiction had snuck up on me, putting me in bondage and taking over my life.
Anyone who's ever smoked knows what I'm talking about: smoking becomes a HUGE burden on the mind, it takes over, one begins to think constantly about their next "break" and planning for the next chance to escape, it affects our ability to be present and to experience our life to the fullest, it affects our ability to enjoy being with our family's and friends, it impacts whom we associate with and the conversations we have with other fellow smokers - which experience has taught me -more often than not turn out to be pity parties and "bitch and complain about life sessions" ... as it's very seldom that one can have an inspiring, uplifting conversation in that environment (and drunken encounters outside of clubs do not count) ,
not mentioning the financial strain it places on individuals and their families !! (Yes, I did my math and it cost me $3,000 per year to maintain my smoking habit) - money that could be spent on other things to benefit us, our family and society...a yearly vacation in Maui is what I personally choose to spent it on these days...
And working in healthcare, I really should have known better than to smoke, after all, I learned ALL about how bad smoking is in school! But being a healthcare provider can be very stressful and it's no surprise to me that so many health care workers do in fact smoke themselves..
And so to continue with my story, the next morning I was going out shopping and began driving down my street while recalling my experience and feelings from the night before ... in particular the awful feeling of being enslaved by my smoking habit was very prominent in my mind. As I neared the end of my street I came up on a big red STOP sign 🛑 and in that very moment something within me prompted me to ask God for help - and I did, it was quick but came from the heart, I asked God to liberate me , to set me free. And then I went to make a right turn onto the main road. I cannot even begin describe the sudden sense of inner peace and calm that came over me, it was truly Divine and beautiful! And from that moment in, it literally felt as if a switch went off in my mind and heart, I no longer craved cigarettes and the addiction was gone. I share this story with my clients at work because even thought there are many treatments and programs that help people quit smoking, I believe that deep heartfelt prayer guided by a genuine desire from the heart ❤️ can sure do the trick as well.
Wishing you a glorious day filled with Purpose, joy and inner peace ,
💜Kamila Larson ~ Author of "Manifest Your Deepest Desires with God" book coming soon!💜 Sign up for my Complimentary Inspirational Newsletter below to receive weekly Uplift and Spiritual Motivation!